If you spot a purple butterfly sticker near a newborn, you should understand its significance
Just weeks after discovering they were expecting twin baby girls, Millie Smith and Lewis Cann received devastating news: only one of their daughters would survive. On April 30, after a high-risk pregnancy lasting 30 weeks, Smith gave birth to identical twins, Callie and Skye, with Skye tragically passing away after just three hours.
Struggling to articulate her grief, Smith found solace in the idea that Skye’s legacy could help other families coping with infant loss, symbolized by a purple butterfly sticker. In November 2015, Millie Smith and her partner, Lewis Cann, received the news of their first child’s impending arrival. Smith, who has a history of twins in her family, had a strong intuition about expecting twins, and ten weeks later, doctors confirmed that she was carrying identical twin girls. However, less than two weeks after the initial excitement of expecting twins, the couple was devastated to learn that one of their babies had a fatal condition and would not survive after birth.
“During the ultrasound, the doctor remained silent. While I was excited to see the babies, she didn’t say a word. Both Lewis and I immediately sensed that something was wrong,” Smith recounted. Doctors then informed them that one of the babies had anencephaly, a severe birth defect where parts of the brain and skull are missing, resulting in a fatality shortly after birth.
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Aware that one of their babies would not survive long after birth and that there were risks involved for the other baby, the couple decided to proceed with the extremely high-risk pregnancy. Over the following months, Smith and Cann named their twins Skye and Callie. “We knew that Skye needed to be named before her birth,” Smith explained. “Knowing that she would only survive for seconds or minutes, I wanted her to have a name during that time.”
Explaining the significance of the name “Skye,” she said, “It symbolized a place where we knew she would always be, a place where we could look up and remember our baby.” When Smith went into premature labor on April 30, after just 30 weeks of pregnancy, she underwent an emergency C-section. To navigate their loss, the couple had a “bereavement midwife” present during the birth, and they were placed in a special room called the “Daisy Room,” where families can spend time with their baby before and after their passing.
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“When the girls were born, both of them cried. This was a significant moment because we were informed that Skye would not make any sound or movement,” Smith recalled. She was grateful to have had three hours with Skye before her passing. “We held Skye while she passed away. It was the most heartbreaking moment of our lives. I had never experienced such profound grief before. However, I am proud that she fought for so long to spend time with us.”
As Callie was born prematurely, she had to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) to gain strength, alongside three other sets of twins. “Most of the nurses were aware of what had happened, but as time passed, people stopped talking about Skye. After about four weeks, everyone acted as if nothing had happened, and the families around us had no idea about our situation,” Smith remembered.
One morning, a distressed mother, whose twins were also in the NICU, innocently remarked to Smith that she was “so lucky” not to have twins. “None of the other parents knew what had happened or anything about Skye. The comment was completely innocent and made in jest… They didn’t know that at one point, I did have two babies,” Smith continued. “But the comment nearly shattered me. I ran out of the room in tears, and they had no idea why. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them what had happened. A simple sticker could have prevented that entire situation.”
In that moment, Smith realized that she needed to create something that would advocate for parents who had just lost a baby, ensuring that such misunderstandings never occurred again. She designed a poster for the NICU, informing hospital staff and visitors that any incubator with a purple butterfly sticker indicated the loss of one or more babies in a set of multiples.
“I chose butterflies as they symbolize the babies that flew away, and the color purple because it is suitable for both boys and girls,” Smith explained. The concept of the purple butterfly, now under the Skye High Foundation, has spread to hospitals in several countries worldwide.
Today, Callie is a lively and happy seven-year-old, and her twin’s memory lives on through purple butterfly cards and various initiatives to assist families with babies like Skye around the world. The purple butterflies now come in various forms, including ornaments, cards, blankets, stuffed animals, and more. “Ultimately, I may never be able to prevent this from happening, but the more support groups we can establish and the more initiatives we can implement, such as stickers, the better it will be. It’s the hardest thing anyone has to endure,” Smith remarked.
Losing a child at any age is an unimaginable pain for a parent, and the world is fortunate to have individuals like Millie Smith who strive to help others. Please share this story so that others understand the significance of a purple butterfly next to a newborn!
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